it's pretty obvious, I don't have you with me anymore. At this point in time where I'm feeling like it's me against the world, I should have someone to turn to, but then, there's no one.

Then again, all I can blame is myself. Perhaps I want to try to tell you, but something causes me to hesitate, is it the condescending expression i receive from you or the aloof attitude which makes me think, do you really care?

All these welled up hurt, frustrations are overwhelming me, can I honestly hold out any longer? There're so many things I crave to achieve, yet there are obstacles which hinder them and I realise i don't confide in anyone about these problems. i want to, but i'm afraid. i'm scared to be rejected and mocked for perhaps, unecessary meagre issues which don't deserve to be worried about.

I should turn to the Lord, but all of a sudden, I feel an abrupt rift between myself and the Lord. i don't know, it's so terrifying in itself.

I feel so broken inside, I've no absolute idea what to think anymore.
can i turn to you? Would you understand? The insecurity that you'll reject me remains present and thriving.

I really don't know what to say anymore.


-----




And she looks at you and thinks, you never really did understand me did you.
You should have known, the eminent issue was that you callously threw her troubles away. Disregarded them. Now, you hardly know what makes her smile, what makes her cry.
All you care bout is yourself, the whole world revolves solely around you. She glances up, and realization hits her, too - you never really loved her, but yourself.