<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/6120951349298318192?origin\x3dhttp://kissmywall.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>



profile entries tagboard links
addictive
I throw all of your stuff away. I’m gonna clear you out of my head. I tear you out of my heart.
And ignore all your messages. I tell everyone we are through. 'Cause I'm so much better without you.
But it’s just another pretty lie. 'Cause I break down.
Every time you come around. So how did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
Should have known better in trying to let you go. 'Cause here we go go go again.
Hard as I try I know I can't quit. Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together. you'd think that by now I'd know. cause here we go go go again.


Thursday, December 31, 2009, 10:36 AM

Every single night i keep having the same dream. I wake up to realize that it's more of a nightmare than i ever had and it keeps repeating every single night. i feel as though i want to die, but i can't. over the same person again and again, it replays in my head the memories, laughter, the pain. i mean hell, it could picture a scene in like the early part of the year where screw that, i can't believe i can actually remember it. that's why i fear sleeping nowadays and if i could, i wouldn't sleep. but that's physically impossible and i wouldn't bother trying my luck.

Watching Princess and the Frog didn't help i suppose, probably cuz i played mahjong in the night and dyed my hair back to black ): which didnt allow the sweeet innocent happiness of the disney movie to project through till the night. haiz. whatever la, sometimes i wonder if it's just the way i am, then i allow myself to be vulnerable to people and as weird as this sounds, sometimes i wish i were as strong as mq. to not let anyone get too close or to affect you that certain extent.

Breakups are the worst kinda things for me, especially if i'm on the verge of losing friends, whether they were bad or good ones didn't matter.

and the one person who i thought would pull me through, didn't so haha whatever. probably doesn't know how much pain he's inflicting but zzzz who cares la. you want to leave my life then leave la. since you never needed me and i was just a spare tyre to you eh. now you can't even have the guts to come settle it with me, and just ignore. i actually thought our friendship was something more but guess i was in denial. oh and the crying is kinda stupid too, albeit it's uncontrollable but hehe it'll stop one day. i feel demented by adding "hehe" and "haha" when clearly, the mood of this post is undoubtedly solemn lol. whoops.

people told me not to care, but it's hard. and this post is kinda irrelevant but i'm penning down whatever words conjure into my cute mind. ya la, very cute ok.

it's painful. very painful. i pray so much for it to stop that i dont know what to do anymore.