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addictive
I throw all of your stuff away. I’m gonna clear you out of my head. I tear you out of my heart.
And ignore all your messages. I tell everyone we are through. 'Cause I'm so much better without you.
But it’s just another pretty lie. 'Cause I break down.
Every time you come around. So how did you get here under my skin? I swore that I'd never let you back in.
Should have known better in trying to let you go. 'Cause here we go go go again.
Hard as I try I know I can't quit. Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together. you'd think that by now I'd know. cause here we go go go again.


Sunday, September 11, 2011, 12:28 AM

8 months has passed and i am surprised i'm willing to come back to this space. maybe because i didn't expect my life to turn out the way it has been, but either way i have to thank God for everything that has occured.

i have stayed away from writing, for a really long time. i miss it so much, because it's a much easier task than telling people how i feel. i don't like to talk about feelings, but i end up doing so anyway

sometimes i question how well do i know myself, why do i let myself get so hurt, vulnerable and fragile. i look back and i realised i'm still the same old girl who cries over the simplest things, be it happy or sad. It used to be a positive thing, though. because it meant i actually feel, and express.


nowadays it gets tiring till the point i rather dwell in what to eat, what time do i wake up, where do i go to study today. i had so much fun in this year, i forgot what it felt like to feel.

it's amazing how people change, things change, and look we're all grown up. now Ooi even has the ability to treat me to an expensive meal and absorb the whole cost, coz well, he's earning bucks.

Maybe my heart is restless because i feel more lost than ever. and i can never put it to words, or show anyone that. there's so many things people will never understand about me because i'm different and to the point i hate that about myself.

God has given me several experiences this year - both good and bad, things that made me cry but brought me closer to him, happiness beyond happiness yet so many obstacles blocking my path.

sometimes it gets so tough i wanna go hide under the covers of my bed and never come out. i'd like a tortise shell once in a while.

what goes on in my brain, i don't know. i simply know my heart hurts sometimes and i can't ease it by myself. i dont want to be carried away in jc, i want to find people that i will love forever, and i think i already have. Yet, it seems so much easier if i were to pen everything down, that writing is a form of release, a refuge where i could let words flow endlessly and not speak at all.

i find it painful sometimes that i could place my heart on my sleeve so easily, if i let you take it, you'd be able do anything with it. then again, i trust selectively.

I don't know if i am tired or not, i just wish you could hug me to sleep and tell me my burdens are yours too. but i'll deal with it.


life is tough but i am going to be happy